Jack Harlow at the Sports Illustrated Super Bowl Party in Los Angeles, CA. Photo: Rodin Eckenroth/Getty Images
Anyone who is attracted to men can pinpoint the exact moment they accepted that Jack Harlow is the sexiest creature on the planet. For me it was his Chicken shop date. After 20 seconds of watching him flirt with Amelia DimoldenbergI’ve come to realize a disturbing truth: I would eagerly trade my firstborn for the opportunity to sit in a greasy chippy with this man.
When I line up the 24-year-old Louisville rapper against my childhood crushes, it really doesn’t make sense. Can he throw a punch like Anthony Joshua? Beat Thor in a race? Or leap from iceberg to iceberg like Diego the saber-toothed tiger Ice Age? Probably not. I’d even go as far as betting that Mr. Harlow is the kid who used his asthma as an excuse to skip PE, only to sneak off to the park for a joint at 3pm. But in the last couple of weeks have I dreamed about it more than Diego, Joshua and Hemsworth combined? Absolutely.
She is the people’s princess. The king attainable. She’s the type of guy who, at first, seems to be only slightly fine due to a fundamental appreciation of basic hygiene and the ability to make you laugh. Inevitably, he ends up completely obsessed. (Curls and the ability to make unwavering eye contact play a huge role here.)
Yes, I’ve thought about it quite a bit. But I’m not the only one. To follow the release of video teasers for his new single “First class”, the Internet went into cardiac arrest. The #jackharlow to tag Tick tock it has two billion views and the creators have left no stone unturned in analyzing all the layers of Harlow’s beauty.
But why did this seemingly mediocre man put us all in such a grip? “You know that goofy kid in high school you’d always try to find reasons to hate? And then you end up making out with him in a bathroom one night at a random party? And five years later is he rich and cool and famous?” asks Meelayna Morgan, who is part of Harlow’s TikTok fan base. “That’s Jack Harlow. He’s the goofy goober who got away and got fucking sexy too.
“I feel like she brings me breakfast in bed,” says Helen Fexy, 19, of New York. “Besides you just know she smells good.”
Amy Morgan, a 20-year-old fan from Belfast, adds: ‘It’s the right blend of cheek balanced by the knowledge that she’d 100% pay for your taxi back from hers the next morning.’
Harlow is also known for winning fans in person. “I literally changed my fucking flights from Ireland to New York just to try to see him after his concert,” Meg Cassin, another 20-year-old fan, tells VICE. “Have you seen how it is with his fans? I know he’s objectively average looking, but he’s also the coolest man ever.
Fan of Diehard Becker’s Land video of his meeting with Harlow went viral in January. The TikTok clip reaches its flirtatious climax with the two of them holding hands through a fence. “I think he’s one of the most attractive men in the world the way he carries himself,” Becker tells VICE. “He asked questions, he wasn’t an asshole, his nails were done, his curls were fresh, he smelled good, he was respectful. It was one of the greatest experiences of my life.”
Rachael Lloyd, eHarmony’s relationship expert, turned to science to help unravel the infatuation. “When it comes to primal mating preferences, trust and originality go a long way, and Jack has those traits in a bucket,” she explains. However, Lloyd ultimately attributes the obsession to personality: “Jack’s values are also part of his appeal. He supports the black community and the empowerment of women.
Unlike other prominent white rappers like Eminemwhose lyrics have often demonstrated a blatant disdain for women at best — and misogyny at worst — Harlow has a passionate black fan base to thank for her rise to fame.
“I think Jack Harlow’s appeal to non-white people is specifically that he wants to be cold and icy, but he doesn’t want to be black,” explains Addis Fouché, a writer and creator who passes The Internet’s Most Recognizable Wh*re. “It’s clear that his place in the rap community is one of knowing kindness; his presence does not seem at all symbolic or predatory.
Indicates his friendship with classmates ‘Industry Baby’ musician Lil Nas X as proof: “No other rapper guy right now, black or white, is really trying to hook up with queer rappers right now, and certainly not as publicly. And what’s more, he’s doing just fine?”
Will Jack Harlow release us from his spell soon? It seems unlikely. (Message to Jack: If you’ve made it this far… my Twitter @ is right there.)